My grandpa seems to be okay at the moment.  The biggest thing they are worrying about is when his next episode will be.  If he crashes again, he might not come back.  It's so sad to see him suffering like this.  He told me, it's enough.  he just wants to let it happen when it happens.  enough fighting already.  He's ready to go basically.  I also went to my grandma's grave and had a chat with her about things.  My mom had her side of the family reunion dinner and get together at her house as well.  It was nice seeing all my aunties and uncles there.  Kinda annoying having almost the whole family telling me that I should move back home and questioning what i'm doing in california.  but eh, that's how it goes at these things. lol.  i saw all my old friends there. gay-straight.  it was nice just seeing everyone and catching up.  hearing how people have fallen in love, are getting married, having kids, or just mia.  pretty interesting.  i've noticed that over the last 5 years i've been gone, almost everyone i know have gotten chubby there.  I was like wow!  everyone used to be sooo thin. lol.  i went out with my friends to the clubs out there and i must say, it's a nice feeling to be getting hit on and everything out there.  it's a first for there. hahahahahaha.  all this working out is really paying off! hehehehe.  i may still be on the bigger side, but at least it's a fit big. hahahhaa. it's nice to finally be back here in cali though.  it's cold again!  hahahaha.  i'm really glad that the first person i got to see when i got back was alvin!  he came to the airport to pick me up!!!! =)  hehehehehe.  i'm really starting to fall more and more for him.  =)

"Even with all the obstacles of life, life must and will go on.... with or without you."

The coming weekend is definitely going to be an interesting one.  First of all, I'm heading back to Hawaii.  Reason being my grandpa is dying.  He had a second heart attack a few days ago and then a stroke when they were trying to revive him.  His kidney's are failing and if you watch House, you will know exactly what that means.  So the main reason why I'm heading back is to say good bye to him.  I will also be stopping by my grandma's grave, which is this grandpa's wife...  Sucks!  I had the fondest memories with these grandparents.  We traveled together for the first half of my life.  ahh well, such is life and life goes on.  update more later. got some things to do before i leave tomorrow morning.

falling in love... =)  just to end on a positive note.

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It's 7am on saturday morning. damn! this is the earliest i have been up in forever. it's cold! hahahha. anyways, i had a dream just before i woke up.  i don't know how, but i died and became a ghost.  i was pissed at first and went ghouling through the night.  then there was this fade out and in and i was going around helping other ghosts that are new.  like stopping them from just lying there and going towards whatever bad collection was happening with all of them or something.  i looked it up and it said that when you dream about you dying in a dream it means you are changing as a person.  that you want to leave your past behind you and move on with a new you.  so that's kind of interesting.  i think the funniest thing tho, when i woke up and thought about the dream, i hella wanted to eat a burrito! hahahahaha.

i'm excited to see alvin today.  i have a lot to do. blah. i need to get my haircut somewhere soon.  pick up the uhaul, pick up my couch, return the uhaul.  go grocery shopping for a few things, buy all the alcohol for tonight and get get a few other things i need.  alvin is going to be here at noon so yah.....lots to do before then! lol.  wish me luck. 

So i really believe that love should be easy and all this work and "extra" effort to make someone fall for you is completely ridiculous.  If you both are not interested in each other from the get go, you're going no where fast.  Not that it needs to be fast!  Just saying that love is never a one way street.  And that goes for love between a bf/gf/family/friends.  It's everything.  Once something becomes one sided, u either feel like they don't care or if it's the opposite, they will feel like you don't care.  Think about.

I have been waiting for someone interesting to come around and have a general interest in me and what not.  For the most part of the beginning of this year, I haven't been going out as much.  Just here and there when I'm in the mood.  One of the things I have been doing is going to castro on thursdays to hang out and kind of unwind from the week and what not.  It's proven to be a lot more beneficial than I expected.  =)  Because I've gone out without any type of expectation to meet someone in mind.  REALLY.  just go out to hang with friends and chill.  With going out and just hanging out and taking a general interest in having a conversation with people, you sometimes meet someone new.  hahaha. 

I feel very lucky cuz I met a guy at castro on thursday and he came out last night to dragon.  not to say that, that's all we're going to be doing. haha.  we are just going out for some deep dish pizza tomorrow night. hehehe.  but yah.   something funny about that is that he was telling me about how he loves deep dish pizza and while i was watching the food network today, there was a deep dish pizza challenge!  It's just so funny how these things seem to show itself when I least expect it.  hahaha.  (if you don't get what that means... it's like seeing signs that it's the right thing at the moment. )

I just posted this Infiniti Weekend Getaways widget for 500 credits. You can earn free credits too!

it's become quite apparent the things i used to do and love are beginning to leave me.  As time goes on and people change, I feel this sort of disconnect from almost everyone I talk to.  I've become quite lazy to make most efforts in hanging out with people or trying to get to know the new ones.  I guess if they're not going to put any effort into getting to know me, I'm not going to put in any effort either.  I don't know whether this is simplifying my life or just being tired of dealing with most people at the moment..... I sometimes feel that my efforts are in vain.  Most of my life, I have made the effort to go out of my way to meet up with people or help them in every way that I could.  I guess at this point in my life, I feel like it's time to change some things.  More and more, I've been feeling discontent with my looks and things to that effect.  My goal at the moment is to focus on school first.  Second is to practice making more dishes.  Third is to cook healthier food towards helping me diet.  Fourth is to keep on working out at least 5 times a week.  I've recently found some UFC workouts used by the weight class champions.  Unfortunately it's not GSP or Diego Sanchez, but eh.  They were at least once a belt holder.  And since I've been following UFC more closely these days and am inspired by them, it would definitely be a good idea to follow some of their workouts and things of that nature. 

In other news, I had quite an interesting weekend.  Partying on friday night with a few friends.  House parties are always fun.  *for the most part anyways*  hehehe.  Saturday had work and then Korean Karaoke with Brian, Cathy, cathy bf, and Haole Hyung! hahahhaa. that's a cute nickname!  lol.  that was fun.  tried to sing haru haru but for some reason went completely blank and forget every single line. hahahaha. oh well.  next time.  need to keep practicing korean! hahahaha.  Yes i'm trying to learn that to. and play resident evil 5 and lips and read a couple books by Don DeLillo.  hahaha.  that's a lot to do.  Not to mention I still need to make more time to study MySQL.  hahaha. so much i want to accomplish.  dang!  lol.  Sunday was Fresh.  not the normal crowd but a few cuties here and there. hahaha.  anyways. that's all for now....it's already 3am.  blah. 

woot woot!  thank u to anonymous sweety for the lifetime xanga. hahaha. i don't even xanga that much anymore. lol. that's hella funny. 

im addicted to working out these days. lol.  my mentality has even changed. before when i was angry or depressed, i would eat my feelings away.  which is a reason why i got so big.  now days if those emotions come up, i just hit the gym!  i love it!  i've dropped from a size 40waist down to 35 now.  so things have been going well. =)  sticking with it!  hehehehe. anyways time for school.  l8r g8rs!

So i'm thinking about getting a new lapop.   still kinda torn between the apple and pc.   im kinda drawn more towards the apple because im pretty irritated with how windows runs.  and it's not like i can't split the hard drive anyways.  i mean i could do the same thing on a pc as well.  but iono.  a few friends who work in the tech industry use pc's and they recommend pc while others who are more design based anyways recommend apple.  pc will run a little bit cheaper than mac but iono.  so im still deciding.  will probably be waiting for the back to school sales for mac if i do decide to get that one.  lol.  any thoughts anyone?

im really excited for this weekend.  ive been talking to a new guy and things have been going pretty well so far.  we're planning to spend the weekend together and just see how that goes.  what's even more exciting for me is that im going to be goin to see wicked!!! woot woot!!! =)  i've been wanting to see wicked since it was in LA.  so im really happy that we're going to go this weekend.  should be lots of fun! hehehehe. 

in other news, i've gotten into a couple more korean artists lately.  fly to the sky with their decennium album is awesome and one of my favorites to listen to at the moment.  also wheesung 6th album is good to.  hahahaha.  i didn't find any super junior stuff unfortunately but i got a couple big bang cds and i got their concert dvd!  hahaha! yay! 

note to self.
82 minute jog/walk
1040 calories
5 miles

okay. so im doing research for a paper on molecular gastronomy and i wanted to compare those techniques to something familiar now, which would be boba pearls.  So I typed in how do you make boba pearls and got all this premade crap that they bought from a store and heated up.  okay. how do you make tapioca pearls? same thing. how do you make tapioca pearls from scratch?  same.  recipe to make tapioca pearls. same tapioca pearl recipe. same. how do you prepare tapioca pearls. same creating tapioca pearls from scratch. same.  it's either store bought from an asian market or it's about the pudding!  WTF!  c'mon people.  There is a difference between, preparing, cooking, cooking from scratch, and heating up.  If you are buying a premade item and heating it up in the oven, pot, microwave....all you're doing is heating it up.   FUCK! im so annoyed!!!!  i guess im going to scratch that idea now and just write it straight on the topic.....how lame.....that makes for a boring ass paper. but at 3:30AM i've done all i can..... i just need to finish it and send it in.  dang it!!!!!