Lately I've been having to drink myself to sleep. And even with a couple big glasses of hennessey on the rocks in me, I'm still not out. Honestly, I get home around 930, shower and make dinner. By then it's already close to 1100 or 1130pm. I try and do homework for about an hour or so and drinking while I'm doing it. I head to bed around 1-130am, thinking ok, i'm just going to go to sleep. Nope. I have to open youtube and catch up on my kpop idols. Lol.

I would think I am too old for this shit, but honestly I love it. I still love Big Bang but have obsessively fallen in love with got7 and BTS. The pop stars there just do more interesting programs and their shows and dramas are that good. One show leads to the next and before I know it, it's 430 or 5am. Got to wake up at 830am. Damn it! hahaha. It is my fault for diving into youtube, but it really is something!

I have been thinking to myself, I wonder if I could just move to korea. Teach myself korean and try to make it out there. It would be something new and exciting, but so late in my life? idk if that's a good idea or not. Well, it's not a good idea, but it definitely is an exciting one.

I do think I need to work on myself first here and get those things in order first. I turned 33 yesterday and with all the new things this year, why not change this crucial piece of me and become super hot. haha. Anyways, here is a kpop video.

Day6 "Letting Go"

Wow. I can't believe I'm going to be 33 tomorrow. How time flies.... I must say, I had a good conversation with my ex a couple of days ago. It was nice to chat with him and hear how things were going. I have been feeling more lonely than ever and what's really weird is that I spend less time on grindr and jackd than I used to. I always knew what I had, I just couldn't imagine it gone. Adjusting to life single has been quite a challenge. Honestly, I didn't expect to meet my ex when I did, but I'm not ready to chase anyone the way I chased him...

I'm watching the Hills from season 1. Oh how I missed this show. It's weird how when you lose someone, you almost automatically become nostalgic to everything. It's like because you lost someone important to you, you automatically want to go back in time and repeat history. Maybe it's because hope to repeat it, but the reality of it all is, you just need to hang in there and write a new chapter to your life.