April 8, 2010

• a half full barrel of bananas

  I'm not officially 27 years old.  i guess this is the year all the birthday cards and money from mom and grandma stop coming! hahaha.  man i feel discombobulated atm.  it's just like in my early twenties, i was doing so well for myself.  I fell down the wrong path and ended up here.  this is not where i imagined myself at this age.  for the last 3 years, i've talked to other people who said they were in a similar situation at my age.  they said by the time you're 28, you come out of your slump.  fuck the fuck.  i don't want to have to wait another freaking year.  this shit needs to quit real quick.  seems like praying to god, buddha, shiva, shang tsung, toothfairy, santa clause, and the god damn easter bunny doesn't do shit!  and it's not like im just wallowing here thinking praying is going to somehow solve the problem.  i've been actively working on fixing things, but atm, things just seem to be at a stale mate for me.  blah******  sometimes i feel like i just want fall asleep and never wake up again.  i know, that's depressing.  but that's only a short moment.  the rest of the time, every chance that comes up, every interview, every offer, i get my hopes up.  but seems like i can't close the deal.  i used to be so good at interviewing and getting an offer.  these days, i barely make it past the first interview.  if i do, it definitely doesn't get me hired.  im still optimistic i'm going to find something permanent that pays decent.  life is just a barrel of bananas at the moment.  it's only half full, so someone needs to help me refill it.  i hope this year starts to turn around real quick.  that's my rant. good night.

  • 4:02 am
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